What do I do with my kids?

Basic question a parent of young kids asks when they come to church, but, from my experience visitng churches over long service leave, not something that the average church does well.

When I arrive at a church with my young kids, it's one of the first things I want someone to tell me. I want the usher to tell me. I want the MC of the meeting to tell me. I want the handout to tell me.

But instead, I got told where the toilets were. I'd rather figure that one out for myself. Tell me what to do with my kids?

Here's what I want to know:

  • Where do they go for creche/Sunday school?
  • Who will look after them? Who's in charge of the looker-afterers?
  • When do my kids go there? Can I dump them there straight away? Or do I wait for a special signal during the service?
  • What will happen if my kid freaks out? Will someone page me or something?