A few commenters asked me to give some advice on how to avoid the emotional ‘sins’ described in this post.
Easier to point out a problem than provide a solution, isn’t it?
Here are a couple of thoughts - but please give your own suggestions:
- Set an example in your own life - these aren’t just ‘sins’ that kids commit, are they?!
- Call them out when you see them. Develop some of those infuriating parental slogans that drill into their heads what is wrong with these ways of responding.
- Figure out the opposites and celebrate them when you see them: “Well done for telling us clearly how that you are feeling crabby!”
- Deliberately provide a running commentary on your own emotional life, and their emotional life, to help them become more emotionally intelligent: “Can I explain to you what might be going on here?”
- Do character studies of TV shows and movies and books - both Franklin and Arthur are character-rich programs that seem deliberately designed to assist with this.
- Explore their hurtful behaviour of friends/family/teachers through this grid, where relevant. An upside to this is that it helps kids show sympathy to those who have unfairly hurt them.
- Not in the heat of the moment, but in preventative contexts, talk to them about these matters and unpack what is wrong about them.
- Explore the personal, practical, ethical and spiritual reasons why these are so bad.
- Talk often about God’s sovereignty over all things and build a spirituality that embraces all the ‘givens’ of life: our context, limitations, sufferings, feelings, as gifts/tests from God that can be joyfully received from his hand.
- Model prayer when in the midst of the kind of emotional turmoil that sometimes leads to these ‘sins’.
via Blog - Christian Reflections http://genevapush.com/blogs/xian_reflections/parenting-that-addresses-emotional-sins (NB: to comment go to thegenevapush.com/xian_reflections)
